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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Archibald "Moonlight" Graham: June 29, 1905 


RAY KINSELLA: Fifty years ago, for five minutes you came within... you came this close. It would kill some men to get so close to their dream and not touch it. God, they'd consider it a tragedy.

"MOONLIGHT" GRAHAM: Son, if I'd only gotten to be a doctor for five minutes... now that would have been a tragedy.
W.P. Kinsella's "Shoeless Joe" is one of the most imaginative stories ever written, and certainly the film adaptation Field of Dreams is the best film having anything to do with baseball. And it was 100 years ago today that Archibald "Moonlight" Graham, who for years remained a statistical nobody in the Baseball Encyclopedia, played two innings in the field for the New York Giants, unknowingly starting--and ending--a career that would wind up making him a character in an Oscar-nominated film.

I believe a viewing of Field of Dreams is in order tonight.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

A-HA!!!! 

The Blazers traded their #3 pick to Utah for the #6 and #27 picks in today's first round, and are expected to take a fucking high schooler. Do the Warriors need any fans? I'm about ready to jump ship. I don't understand this.

The Dreaded Blazers Draft Day 

How, oh how, are the Blazers going to mess things up today? With the #3 pick in this year's draft, Chris Paul is a huge possibility. To be available. And not to be drafted by the Blazers. Why would the Blazers draft a guy like Chris Paul, when there is a bunch of prima donna high-schoolers who will have almost zero impact to choose from?

Back in the day, some two decades ago, the Blazers often knew how to draft players. I stress often. Not always. I certainly am not counting 1984, when, at the ripe old age of 12, I expressed an amount of incredulity Red Auerbach would have been proud of, at the Blazers' not selecting Michael Jordan and instead taking Sam Bowie. Now, I don't think anybody figured Jordan would become the greatest player in NBA history, but it didn't take a Mensa member to figure out that drafting a guy who had broken his leg and missed two college seasons over a solid young proven winner wasn't particularly a strong move.

But there was a four-year stretch in which we drafted Clyde Drexler--and I suppose we decided to pay the Bulls back the next year with the Bowie favor, since the Bulls selection just prior to ours was none other than Ennis Whatley, who just missed being named to The 50 Greatest Players in NBA history--Terry Porter, and a very young Arvydas Sabonis. Not to mention the in-some-circles college player of the year Walter Berry, who didn't pan out but at least you couldn't fault us for picking him.

But look at all the first-round picks since then, starting in 1987: Ronnie Murphy. Mark Bryant, Byron Irvin. Alaa Abdelnaby. David Johnson. James Robinson. Aaron McKie. Shawn Respert. Jermaine O'Neal. Chris Anstey. Erick Barkley. Zach Randolph. Qyntel Woods. Travis Outlaw. Sebastian Telfair. Sergei Monia. Jesus Christ. (No, the Blazers brass didn't call out his name on Draft Day ever, but Blazer fans sure have. Over, and over, and over.)

O'Neal turned out to be a good pick. Yeah, once we traded the guy. And Randolph has been all right. Everybody else has been for all intents and purposes, a bust. Definitely not first-round quality.

And these high-schooler/juco players we dig up. Outlaw, who's barely seen any action in two seasons. Telfair, who simply came out of the New York hype machine and whom the verdict is still out on. Woods, who used drugs and abused animals. Woods, who managed to be picked over local favorite Dan Dickau, who, while not tearing up the league himself, would have sparked much more interest in the team. And which he proved to do for about a half-season after we traded for him.

We're gonna go with another high-schooler, whether we use the #3 pick on Gerald Green or trade down for some reason and take somebody named Webster with the #6. And how we even know these kids' names is beyond me. Green said he didn't want to work out with any pros. What the fuck, dude?

Somehow, I just know it's gonna happen. And Blazer fans are going to sit there with their jaws on the floor, going "They fucked up again? They had the three pick and still managed to fuck up! Gimme another fuckin' Flaming D.P.!"

I am so prepared for the disappointment of Draft Day 2005.

Monday, June 27, 2005

16-0? 

And we picked up Alex Sanchez? Fresh off of his steroid suspension, that's great. What are we, the fucking Blazers???

What the hell happened?

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Well, It Cuts Down The Amount Of Despair, Anyway... 

News comes that Barry Bonds may make it back to baseball by the end of July. It may or may not be true, I don't know, but it feels good to think that the despair over this season will be somewhat mitigated a little while longer. If we found out today that Barry wasn't going to be back at all, it would make for a very long rest of the season. But as it is right now, let me get back to re-arranging the deck chairs on this slowly-sinking ship, and I'll get back to you post haste.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

What's The Complaint? 

Memo to all those fans who booed and threw stuff on the Indianapolis race track after 14 of 20 drivers pulled off in protest over safety rules:

Ummmm...you paid money to see cars drive around in circles. Isn't that what happened? Twenty cars driving around in circles is exactly as boring as six cars driving around in circles.

And then, you booed the winner, who actually decided to drive in the race instead of back out and piss you off. Will it ever make any sense?

• Why does Ron Kittle have a book out? Ron Kittle? Who's next? Steve Balboni? Bob Hamelin?

• We miss Barry. We miss Barry! Look at our goddamn record. Isn't the stat that the Giants have played all of maybe a dozen or so meaningless games in the last eight or nine seasons? That number is going to go up big time this year, as far as we can tell. And we still haven't discovered a sauce that goes well with blog.

Monday, June 13, 2005

The Orange-And-Black Curse 

Watching the Oregon State-USC game last night rekindled memories of another team clad in black and orange fumbling away a late lead and losing a pivotal playoff game.

In Game 2 of this best-of-three Super Regional tournament in the college baseball playoffs, with OSU leading the series 1-0, the Beavers held a five-run lead on the Trojans late in the game. Shades of Game 6 of the 2002 World Series. The Trojans scored two in the eighth and managed to tie the game in the ninth with help from a misplay on a fly ball by the right-fielder. Paging Mr. Cruz, Jr. And in the tenth inning, the Trojans loaded the bases, refreshing my horrendous memory of the Giants' penultimate game of last season against the Dodgers. And to be sure the Trojans battled back and won it, 9-8, forcing a third and final game today.

It was all so similar. I wonder why it seems like teams I am pulling for manage to lose leads like this and have it come down to botched plays. The Beavers' second baseman allowed an easy can-of-corn pop fly to drop earlier to allow one run to score instead of closing out the inning.

And the fact that the Beavers were donning their black-with-orange-trim jerseys last night just made it all seem so familiar. Yes, I am a Cal fan now, but it's hard not to root for Oregon teams when they aren't playing the Bears.

Tuesday, June 7, 2005

An E.K. Nation Rule™ 

Pink shall never, ever, appear on any sports uniform, ever, ever, ever. Sorry, girls. No pink! Not even you, Carson Queer-Eye-Guy. If the Queer Eye guys had to try to makeover a major league team, I would have made one rule: no pink jerseys. Damn you, QE.

Friday, June 3, 2005

Not The Only Problem 

Hawkins' second inning of work as a Giant: A game-losing grand slam.

Good thing for him he's not the only problem the Giants have. What the hell is wrong with this team? We don't have MLB Extra Innings yet so all we're seeing, really, is the score. And we're always on the losing end. It's frustrating.

Not only this, but now we have to deal with the stigma of being a 49ers fan too. It's bad enough that the team sucks, but now the training video bullshit?

• Quote of the week, from Carolina Panther Kris Jenkins:
I hate him. Everybody says I'm supposed to be polite when I talk to you all, but I hate him. He talks too much, he doesn't make sense, he's fat, he's sloppy, he acts like he's the best thing since sliced bread. He's ugly, he stinks, his mouth stinks, his breath stinks, and basically his soul stinks, too. Not too many people have personalities like that and survive in life. I don't know how he does it.
There is something to be said for outspokenness.

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