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Sunday, March 30, 2008

The E.K. Nation Baseball Prediction Party 2008 

My streak of correctly picking World Series winners ended at one year in a row in 2007, when my pick of the New York Mets did not come to fruition. Now, I am back and ready to begin a new streak. Check out who's going to the playoffs this season, kids, and go to Vegas with this information.

NATIONAL LEAGUE DIVISION CHAMPS:

AMERICAN LEAGUE DIVISION CHAMPS:

WILD CARDS:

NATIONAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP:

over

AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP:

over

2008 WORLD SERIES:

over

Yes, it's the Brewers winning the National League pennant. Prince Fielder just might hit 65 home runs. He is a beast. He will win the N.L. MVP award this year. Golly gee, I remember when he was on MTV's Rock 'n' Jock Softball as a kid with his dad Cecil. Oh, the memories. Now lok at him. He's huuuuuge. Oh, and yes, the Red Sox will repeat as World Series champs.


Sunday, March 16, 2008

CONGRATS, MT. ST. MARY'S AND COPPIN STATE! 

The Mt. St. Mary's Mountaineers overcame an 0-4 start to the season and won the Northeastern Conference title, beating Sacred Heart 68-55 for the NEC's automatic bid into the NCAA Tournament.

The Coppin State Eagles had a much worse start to their campaign: They were 4-19 at one point but rallied with a streak of 12 wins in 13 games, and then, as the #7 seed in the Mid-Eastern Athletic Conference, defeated the #1, #2 and #3 seeds to take home that conference's automatic berth into the Big Dance.

But oh yeah, there's just that little thing they have to do first: They both have to go Dayton, Ohio, on Tuesday night to take part in the so-called "play-in" game, which makes the NCAA tourney field 65 teams in reality, not 64. The Selection Committee made that announcement a few hours before releasing the tourney bracket seedings and matchups.

And that's a complete sham. They've already "played in"; they won their respective conference titles and they did it fair and square. Why should they have to play one more game before getting their taste of the most exciting tournament in all of sports? The NCAA likes to say that the field for the Big Dance is 65 teams, and has officially called the "play-in" game the "Opening Round," but come on. Which of the poor sap teams that have to go to Dayton really believe that the extra game is part of the Tourney? Are Mt. St. Mary's and Coppin State celebrating their upcoming trip to Ohio? I doubt it. I'm thinking they won't celebrate much until one of them gets the win on Tuesday night and has that #16 affixed to their school's name and a guarantee, finally, that they'll get to play North Carolina or Memphis in the first round.

If the NCAA insists on having this "play-in" game, it should send to Dayton two schools that did not win their conference championships; teams that were "on the bubble", as they say. According to ESPN's Joe Lunardi, his Bracketology has Virginia Tech as the "last team in" to the field of 64, and Illinois State as the "first team out", that is, the closest to making the tournament without actually getting in. What would be the problem with sending those two schools to Dayton for the play-in game?

Or, how about Villanova and Ohio State? Or, even more enticing, imagine a play-in between Pac-10 rivals and bubble teams Arizona and Arizona State. With much higher-profile teams playing in the "play-in" game, the ratings might be higher than they would for two schools that a lot of people haven't heard of. There is always a lot of controversy when the tournament bracket is announced; teams that came close but got left out usually cry foul and say they got hosed. So why not use the "play-in" game to settle at least one of these scores? In the end, make the last team into the field earn its way, rather than forcing two conference champions to win an extra game to qualify. The Mountaineers and Eagles are truly the teams that got hosed. Come on, NCAA, fix this.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

THIS...IS...YOUR TOP 12, AMERICA! 

E.K.: I've had E.K. Nation Senior American Idol Correspondent Smooth locked in the basement for a while, and he's ready to come out for another Idol discussion. Hello, Smooth!

Smooth: Hello! Well, as you know, I am a bit of a Beatles fan, and by that I mean I LOVE THEM 4EVA OMG!!!! I must say that I was completely dreading this night going in. Even though we have a solid contestant pool this year, I thought that surely we would see a number of them just murder songs that I love. Let's recap, shall we?

E.K.: We shall! And I will say that I like the Beatles, but only in very small doses. Two hours of it, though, I thought might a bit much. Syesha Mercado was the opening act.

Smooth: It was rather mediocre. I knew she'd do the Earth, Wind, and Fire arrangement of "Got to Get You Into My Life", although it isn't that different from the original, really. It's too low for her in the beginning, and she never did anything vocally that stands out. Not horrible, just boring.

E.K.: Syesha was very pitchy and it seemed like she was always a bit behind the beat. And I didn't like the arrangement at all. It was just too cheesy, something you'd find at any karaoke bar. And it was kind of odd the way the chorus changed, at least from the Beatles version; I'm not sure what EWF did with it. I can't believe Simon actually liked it. He usually hates dreck. I thought that she would be the first one voted out of the Top 12, and she needed to do something spectacular to stay alive. She didn't do it. Next up was Chikezie -- a rather brand new version of Chikezie, to say the least, bringing his take on "She's A Woman".

Smooth: Now this I can get on board with. If you're going to change up the arrangement, at least do something unexpected, not just a rehash of an existing cover. At first he surprised me with an attempt to usurp the country mantle from Kristy Lee, and then he segued nicely into rock mode. The vocal was very good, and he had seemingly boundless energy. Much of the Beatles' early catalogue requires exactly the type of lively performance that Chikezie brings to the stage. It was an interesting and entertaining performance, and he's been doing well the last few weeks.

E.K.: I really liked the folksy banjo/fiddle intro, and then when it moved into the rock part, it was like a bolt of lightning hit. I'd never seen Chikezie perform with that much energy before. Those vocal spasms (that he did on purpose) were interesting and didn't seem forced, like scat does, for example; it just seemed like part of his own enjoyment of his time on stage. He really put a lot into this song and has definitely bumped up the ladder.

Smooth: Probably the most straightforward cover we saw all night came from Ramiele Mulabay ("In My Life"), and as such I can't help but think it sounds like a karaoke performance, but it is an excellent karaoke performance. She sounds really great, perhaps her best vocal to date, even though she doesn't attempt anything too difficult. Unfortunately, this is not the type of performance that gains you votes on this show. Randy and Simon harshly point this out. Honestly, although I see their point, I wasn't bored by it; I paid attention because the vocal was so good. The problem with this song choice is that it has a simple melody, and it would have sounded worse had she attempted any wacky runs and such. She could be in danger.

E.K.: I agree pretty much with everything you said. It was a very pretty rendition of the song, maybe her best at least vocally so far this season, but it would probably go over best at a funeral. I thought her tone was very sweet. Although that standing on the steps and then walking down during the first verse is a bit tiresome. I'm surprised that all three judges pretty much hated it. I mean, come on; it wasn't spectacular but it wasn't bad.

Smooth: Man, is Jason Castro a space cadet. "If I Fell" is a weird song choice, as it normally has a very tight two-part harmony, and this rendition feels like there is something missing. Not liking his vocal on this song, it was just way too breathy and I don't think it worked here. So breathy, in fact, that Mrs. Smooth pointed out that it sounded like he was singing "if I fell in love with Hugh." I didn't think this was anything you couldn't see in any open mic acoustic night at a local bar. He'll be fine this week, though.

E.K.: I wasn't too happy with much of the falsetto or, as you mentioned, the breathiness of his vocal. And it was yet another of the same kind of performance from Jason. He needs to spice it up somehow, maybe take on an up-tempo Maroon 5 song or something. "Hallelujah" was great last week, and to be fair, I did actually like a lot of his vocal Tuesday night, but he's relying too much on one way to perform. I think he's starting to become the guy Mike Birbiglia -- one of the funniest comedians around these days -- wrote a song about, you know, "the guitar guy at the party," the guy who gets drunk (or stoned) enough to grab a guitar and do a song so that he can sleep with your girlfriend.

Smooth: Carly Smithson likes "awrange juice", and who doesn't? And she used the phrase "it goes down treat" -- how exotic! She had another angry look plastered on her face during the performance, belying her pretty smile before and after. There was good energy in the performance, though, and it is sort of an angry song. The vocal was a bit heavy on the vibrato early on, and the song has very short phrasing which doesn't let her show off her power, but she was right on key. She has such a soulful singing voice. It got better in the second half, although the backup singers nearly drowned her out. You can tell she's comfortable with the song. Well done.

E.K.: It was once again a strong performance from the girl with the strongest voice, but I must say, I need to see something else, like a ballad. We all know Carly can rock it, since she's done this type of song over and over. But "Come Together" (a song I've never been fond of) is a tune that doesn't require any emotion to sing; how exactly do you emote when you have to belt out the phrase "toejam football"? I want to see her do something with a really healtfelt sentiment in the lyrics. Having said that, she's delightful, and this lovely lass is not going anywhere. She is safe for next week, easily.

Smooth: Why was David Cook dressed like a villain in Blade II: Vampire Boogaloo?

E.K.: I merely went with Dracula in my notes; props to you for the wonderful fake movie title.

Smooth: "Eleanor Rigby" could have been an inspired song choice, as I think a rock edge in the vocal could work well, but David didn't do the song justice at all. He overdid it, slurring his words and trying to perform too intensely. It just seemed so much more forced than last week. He's kind of scooping into some of the notes, and doing weird things with others; I think it's all on purpose, but the effect is that he sounds off-key at times. The judges liked it way, WAY too much. Did Paula just make fun of handicapped people?

E.K.: I'm going to pause for a moment to briefly discuss how sick to death I am of Paula and her squabbles with Simon. Seems like every time the singers are standing there on stage, awaiting criticism or praise, they have to stand there while Paula and her drunk self takes over with this inane chatter, and then Simon tells her to shut up or something and it just escalates. It's disgusting, and it needs to stop. Okay...back to David Cook now, and weirdly, it seemed to me like he was doing a Michael Johns impression, and Michael Johns is in this very same competition. That's not a good thing to think about when pondering David's chances to win. His voice just didn't seem to fit this song, and I hated the arrangement. His voice was okay, and I'm sure there's somewhere he can go to be a success in the music biz, but it was a distinct drop-off from last week in my book.

Smooth: Now to Brooke White, who said in the interview segment, "Previous to American Idol I was a nanny." E.K., you can't crush on a girl who uses such bad grammar.

E.K.: Brooke fail English? That's unpossible!

Smooth: She does seem to become more attractive each week, though, so...scratch that last statement.

E.K.: I know what you mean. I used to win spelling bees based solely on my looks.

Smooth: Like last week, Brooke went with a very sparse musical accompaniment, and the effect was similar. Her voice is the focus, and once again it's good but not what I'd call great. Like Ramiele, she smartly refrained from trying to do too much with "Let It Be". However, I think the piano keeps it from being perceived as boring. One minor problem: She doesn't seem to know where to look while she's playing -- down at the keys, or out at the audience or the camera. She gives an endearing post-interview in which we see she is genuinely thrilled to be there. Aw. I liked it.

E.K.: I think you're right that if Brooke had just sung this song without accompanying herself on an instrument it might have sounded dull. But that's what makes her great: While not the most spectacular singer or piano- or guitar-player in the world, it's clear she loves doing what she's doing and she takes time to craft performances. She's a musician in the truest sense of the word. I also noticed a Stevie Nicks tone to her voice this time around. Man, I tell ya what, Carly Simon, Carole King, Stevie Nicks...there's no slouch in that group. There is absolutely no way she's being voted out yet, and actually, I think she might be a surprise high finisher. Which is good because I want to keep watching her and rooting for her. Is there anyone rooting against her?

Smooth: Okay, Tuesday night did not work for David Hernandez. "I Saw Her Standing There" is a straight rocker and his voice is basically too smooth for it. He just sounds too R&B. On the original recording McCartney is really into it, literally screaming at times, and this is just way too laid back in comparison. He doesn't even go for the trademark high falsetto note. Very poor song choice.

E.K.: I don't think the song was a bad choice, I just think the way he performed it was the wrong choice. This is one of my all-time favorite Beatles songs, and it may be just because it rocks while being so simple, and that's where Mr. Hernandez went wrong. He tried to glam it up and work some vocal stylings into it, and it just fell flat.

Smooth: Perhaps the most obscure song choice of the night was from Amanda Overmyer, although I am very familiar with it. I've always loved the underlying guitar riff you hear at the beginning of "You Can't Do That", although this arrangement is definitely faster than the original. She was smart to choose a lesser-known song because people would not be able to reconcile her voice with most of the Beatles bigger hits. She doesn't gender-reverse the song, interestingly. She's still having some issues connecting with the audience. She throws her own spin on the song which works pretty well, although she gets ahead of the tempo on a few occasions. I also think she overdoes the stuttering thing (plus we had already seen it from Chikezie). She puts good energy into the vocal and she does stay on pitch well, to my ear. In the post-interview, she manages to smile instead of just looking nauseated like last week. Overall, pretty good on the Amanda sliding scale.

E.K.: I suppose a singer like Amanda doesn't need to be pitch-perfect, but just being energetic and unique-looking isn't enough here. While I admire the devotion she has to her style -- she's Amanda Overmyer, and you gotta deal with it -- and I like the tenacity with which she struts, I just haven't found myself connecting to anything she has done. Which is kind of sad, really, because the Janis Joplin thing is unique to Idol. I do agree, though, that it was wise to do a song that someone like me wouldn't be familiar with, so that we would only have the performance to base a judgment on. (In fact, except for "Revolution" and obviously "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band", I can't take a Beatles title and name the album it came from.) She has no chance of winning this competition, but since that is true, she might as well not bother doing anything different. Unlike my take on Carly, my take here is, keep doing what you're doing, Amanda. And hell, she wouldn't change anyway. Can you imagine her in a dress on a stool singing a Whitney Houston ballad?

Smooth: Before he started singing, I was thinking that "Across the Universe" is a good song for Michael Johns' voice. Indeed, his tone fits the song well, but the slow pace of the song and the esoteric lyrics ("Jai Guru Deva Om") are not working in his favor. Plus, he's saying "garu" instead of "guru".

E.K.: I know! I was totally like, "My God, doesn't this guy know anything about Sanskrit mantras???"

Smooth: It's a heartfelt performance, and think he manages to show off his voice more than he has in the past few weeks. I just think it could have been even better. Love how Simon doesn't remember Carly's name...there are only 12 people, man! Get with it!

E.K.: Yeah, quote of the season from Simon: "What's the Irish girl's name?" Jeezly crow, man. She's only one of the favorites to win. Anyway, Michael Johns is clearly a star. He just looks like one, he performs like one, and the Aussie accent I'm sure has about four million American girls swooning. So before you say the words "man crush!" I'll say this about his take on "Across the Universe": It was not his best. However, he can have a bad week and still sound good. Someone like Ramiele or Kristy Lee has a bad week and it can spell disaster.

Smooth: Another thing that can spell disaster? "D-i-s-a-s-t-e-r."

E.K.: Actually, that isn't a thing that spells "disaster", that is merely the spelling of the word "disaster." In that comment, you are the thing that spelled "disaster."

Smooth: Jeez, man, can't you let me make a joke?

E.K.: Actually, I guess I'm just keeping with Paula's custom of spouting silliness that has nothing to do with anything.

Smooth: You got that right.

E.K.: Hey! Smooth!

Smooth: Yes?

E.K.: Hmmm....what?

Smooth: You...uh...you said, "Hey Smooth!"

E.K.: Oh, sorry. Got distracted by Kristy Lee Cook's outfit again. Let's talk about her. I was just saying that someone like Kristy can't have a bad week and still feel good about her chances.

Smooth: And wow, this was just a mess. Apparently she's covering a Lorrie Morgan cover ("Eight Days A Week"), and I hope to God I never hear it. The drums are annoyingly prominent and the whole thing is way too fast. Her performance is lazy; she's just kind of strolling around the stage and looking around aimlessly. The vocal is okay, although I have to laugh at the sudden twang in her singing voice. I kind of feel bad for her because I am sure she felt she had to do a country song this week, and it was really the wrong theme for that.

E.K.: Well, you can't fault her for not listening to the judges' comments. She was struggling a bit, and they told her to try for some country, and alas, she's not pulling that off either. The arrangement sucked, first of all, which for someone like Kristy Lee might as well be a death knell; she doesn't have the talent to overcome a misstep like that. And everything you said is right on; it was just bad. She definitely looks great, but she's no Brooke.

Smooth: Stop with the Brooke already. Jesus!

E.K.: Never. Never ever ever. Finally, we had David Archuleta.

Smooth: Another singer covering a cover and again it doesn't work. This is by far David's worst performance to date. He forgot the words repeatedly (I thought you were "familiar" with the Stevie Wonder version, David) but that was just the start of his problems. I have not heard the Stevie Wonder version, but I assume that was where he was getting all of these weird stylistic choices. He went for a falsetto note and had no power behind it. He tried another high note and it sounded like he's in pain. The performance was weird too, as he is shaking the mic around for some reason. You have to have a voice like Stevie's to attempt all of the freestyling he went for, and the only thing David did was expose his vocal limitations.

E.K.: I can't think of a single Idol performer who has suffered a bigger dropoff than David Archuleta going from the unbelievable rendition of "Imagine" to this likewise unbelievable mess of a disaster of a catastrophe (it was a mess-disastrophe) of "We Can Work It Out" -- one of the more ironic titles an Idol singer has tackled, given what he did with it. Maybe he should have saved "Imagine" for this week, if "Imagine" counts as a Lennon-McCartney songbook choice. He forgot some lyrics right away, and everything seemed to snowball after that. It just seemed like he let that first mistake rattle him. It was the most uncomfortable I've ever been watching a singer on this show. It was excrutiating from start to finish. God, it hurt. The problem is, an American Idol should not ever have a night like this. Taylor never had one, Fantasia never had one, Ruben never had one, Jordin never had one, even people like Bo and Daughtry and Elliott and Katharine never had one and they still couldn't win. I think this performance is going to severely damage David's chances of winning, even with his charming personality and all that girly nonsense.

Smooth: Okay, so Beatles night wasn't quite as bad as I thought it might be, but there were only a few performances I truly enjoyed. Kristy Lee was downright awful, and there was a whole lot of mediocrity. I think Syesha, Kristy Lee and David Hernandez will be in the bottom three and Syesha will be voted out.

E.K.: You realize of course that I am posting this conversation after the results have been announced, if only for time zones east of us.

Smooth: I do.

E.K.: Well, last week I said Syesha was going to be the first one voted out of the Top 12 and I will stick with that, especially considering she is still the most forgettable singer left. And the fact that she had the most time between her performance and the opening of voting time. Way too much time to utilize in the forgetting of Syesha. And David Hernandez and Kristy Lee will be in the bottom three as well; I agree with you, sir. Anyway, we here on the West Coast have about 90 minutes before we find out who got voted off, so enjoy the show everyone, if you can, and I imagine we'll be subjected to more Paula Abdul-laced crap. We shall talk more Idol next week. Go Brooke!

Smooth: Heavens, man, stop it.

E.K.: Brooke Brooke Brooke!

Smooth.: Oh no.

E.K.: Brooke!

Smooth.: Anybody have any chloroform?

E.K.: Brooke White!

Friday, March 7, 2008

WHAT, ANOTHER AMERICAN IDOL DISCUSSION? 

E.K.: Once again, let's bring in E.K. Nation's Senior American Idol Correspondent "Smooth" to discuss what happened this week. We know now that Luke, Danny, Kady and Asia'h were voted out. The one surprise about Thursday's vote show is how sad Danny was to anticipate being voted out and then being voted out. I would have thought he'd have shrugged it off as though it were nothing; turns out he cared about being in the competition more than I thought he did. Where's your sassy now, Danny? Anyway, let's talk about the girls' night. First up was Asia'h Epperson.

Smooth: Oh boy, a Whitney song. Didn't she learn that those are basically off-limits on this show? It wasn't that great, since her voice just wasn't up to the task. It was OK but she was a bit hoarse or something. She also had a weird outfit on with really high waisted pants. Was that an 80's thing?

E.K.: I was wondering that myself.

Smooth: Whatever, hers was a pretty forgettable performance.

E.K.: I agree that doing Whitney is never a good idea unless you can do something amazing with it...and has any girl ever done that on American Idol? Not only was her vocal pitchy and nasal but I couldn't understand some of the lyrics the way she sang them. It just wasn't great, and she was in trouble from the get-go. However, I did not think she would be voted out.

Smooth: As for Kady Malloy: Wow, this was bad. It was very amateurish and a bad song choice. She was just totally off key, flat all over the place, and she missed the big notes, too. I think Kady's a pleasant gal but she was not good enough to be on this show. I can't believe she even made it this far after that performance. Randy and Paula are smoking crack for not ripping that crap. Even Simon didn't really call out the horribleness of the vocal, which is surprising.

E.K.: Yeah, this was bad from start to finish. Kady was one of my picks to be voted out this week, and you agreed. Your other predicted vote-off was who?

Smooth: Asia'h.

E.K.: Nice call. I never did make up my mind as to who the other girl would be who was voted out. But I knew Kady would be once this song started. Katharine McPhee, if I remember correctly, absolutely nailed this song two years ago, and there's no way any A.I. voter who remembered that performance could possibly vote for Kady this time around. However, Kady does indeed seem like a nice girl, and if your only fault is you can't sing a Queen song to perfection in front of millions of television viewers, then you've definitely got something going for you. Up next we had Amanda Overmyer.

Smooth: It was somewhat better than last week's total debacle but it's still not great. I'm still bothered by the tone of her voice, of course, but it does fit this song better, and she did a much better job of enunciating and staying on key. In fact, I actually had a bigger problem with the way she performed this one. For the majority of the performance, she displayed none of the attitude the song calls for. Instead, she mostly looked down and looked around nervously. Just no energy there. She also seemed incredibly nervous in the post-interview. It was like the opposite of last week's energetic performance and terrible vocal. What's up with that? For once I completely disagree with Simon, because amazingly, he really liked it.

E.K.: I thought the performance was sketchy too. She seemed very apprehensive this time around and clearly lacked the energy she had previously. It was almost like she was trying to remember the words to the song as she sang them. I too was surprised that Simon was so high on this performance, because it really wasn't that good. However, and I was amazed to find myself thinking this, she really looked cute this week. If "cute" is an appropriate word to describe a Harley-riding rocker chick. She toned down the hair mess a lot, and she just seemed very pleasant-looking.

Smooth: I loved Carly Smithson's accent in the pre-interview.

E.K.: You and me both. It was almost like she's been trying to sound American up until now but decided "To hell with it, I'm gonna go with the brogue full steam this week." I love it.

Smooth: She too had wacky pants on, and they've styled her to soften her look. She looked pretty good. They can't style the angry look off of her face, though; I am a little bit scared when she sings "I drove all night to make love to you", because I feel that if that were to occur I would wake up with many bruises in the morning. Anyway, she can really sing, and she clearly stands out among the females. In the last 15 seconds of the song she was able to hit several notes that genuinely surprise me. She's undoubtedly going to go really far in the competition.

E.K.: Carly's becoming really gorgeous. She did have this angry look while singing, like she usually does, but I would not only not be scared of her if she sang that song to me, I would break in and instruct her to take me anywhere she wanted, impending bruises or no. Again, her vocal seemed a bit yelly (if that's a word), and she might be trying a bit too hard to hit those high notes that the other girls can't hit, and that's just it. She doesn't need to do that. She's powerful enough without having to work that hard. Still, she looks better and better each week and she's not leaving the competition anytime soon.

Smooth: In interviews, Kristy Lee Cook is starting to annoy me more and more. She did an okay job with the song, sort of adding a slight country twang to it which to me sounds of out of place. The vocal was average, with some problems in the lower register. It didn't help that she followed Carly. She still seems reluctant to fully embrace the country thing, which she needs to do if she wants to go far, and the judges are really trying to shove her into that box. Simon correctly noted that she's forgettable and would be fortunately to make the Top 10. She said "Top 10 is okay with me"; way to show that killer instinct, Kristy Lee!

E.K.: It was a bit odd indeed that she said that. She's not giving up, is she? Anyway, she still looks great but she's just not shining like I thought she might when I saw her first audition. I liked that she took the judges' suggestions to heart and made a country song out of "Faithfully" -- at least for a bit -- but she was still pitchy in country mode and still lacked the Wow notes that we need to hear before anointing someone a star. Now, Smooth: What say you about Ramiele Malubay?

Smooth: God, she sounded like she's six years old in the pre-interview, taking a breath after every third word. As in past weeks she sounded a lot better in the quieter portions of the song. It seems to me that she's just not meant to be a belter, but that's what she's trying to do. I understand why, because that type of singing usually gains praise from the judges. However, when she goes for the belting, it sounds shouty and pushes her off key. Randy called her "Ramalee" multiple times, Paula talked for an hour, and then Ryan babbled about some text-speak acronym onstage while Danny Noriega mugged for the camera. Way to annoy me even on girls' night, Danny!

E.K.: I actually liked it when the song picked up and she started belting out her vocals. She is a little powerhouse of a singer, and she just needs that one perfect song to prove that she belongs for the long haul. This one wasn't it, but she's getting close. She looked very sexy and she tackled the song well; "Against All Odds" is not an easy song to sing, but for the most part it sounded great. Now if we can just get her to stop crying every time someone gets voted out. It's nice that she's making friends and all, but I don't remember any A.I. winner ever doing that. At some point you've got to buck up, because only one person is going to avoid being voted out from here on.

Smooth: Next was Brooke White. And already I heard you sigh, E.K. Come on, man, get it together.

E.K.: Sorry sir, I just love her.

Smooth: Chill. Sheesh! I liked the "unplugged" version of "Love Is A Battlefield", although it kind of forced her to do a very static performance just sitting there. Unfortunately, it seemed like she tried to overcompensate by exaggerating her facial expressions. Also, the very sparse accompaniment means any minor flaw in her vocal is pretty obvious. Luckily, she does pretty well pitch-wise, but there's kind of a squeaky hoarseness to her voice that started to grate on me by the end. Still one of the better performances of the night, though. And the judges acted crazy some more.

E.K.: Yeah, especially Paula. She's annoying me with her stupid-ass tangents while the singer stands there on stage waiting for some criticism. Someone needs to reign her in. Paging Nigel Lythgoe? Anyway, I thought Paula was way off the mark by saying she wanted to hear the band kick in midway through the song. I agreed with Simon a billion percent: I loved the stripped down, bare guitar-and-singer version of this song. If she'd done a dance routine or something it would have come across as the cheesiest cheese that ever cheesed. Brooke's vocal didn't comprise a competition-winning performance, but she sang well and I really enjoyed it nonetheless. And that's not just 'cause I'm in love with her or anything.

Smooth: Whatever, dude. She's married. They keep showing her husband in the crowd. Doesn't that piss you off?

E.K.: Hang on, man. If she sees this blog she might be upset with your use of "piss" there. Let's keep the vocab clean.

Smooth: Sorry. Doesn't it hack you off that she's married?

E.K.: Yes, goddammit, you son of a bitch!

Smooth: Just checking. And you know, they usually try to end these shows really strong but I don't feel like that happened either night this week. As soon as I heard the song choice by Syesha Mercado, I could predict what Simon's reaction was going to be. This wasn't a great vocal by Syesha. There were some minor pitch problems in the beginning, a few weak high notes, and a lot of yelling. It wasn't awful, but with a really good vocal this song ("Saving All My Love For You") can be a showstopper, and it wasn't. We must have been out of time because the judges all give two-word commentaries.

E.K.: Wait, who are we talking about?

Smooth: Syesha Mercado.

E.K.: Who's that?

Smooth: She's in the Top 12 now on American Idol.

E.K.: Who?

Smooth: Syesha Mercado.

E.K.: Luke Menard?

Smooth: No, Syesha Mercado.

E.K.: Rings no bells.

Smooth: Okay. Well, let's salute the Top 12 on American Idol, Season 7. Check out this lineup, dawg:

Amanda Overmyer
Brooke White
Carly Smithson
Chikezie (Eze)
David Archuleta
David Cook
David Hernandez
Jason Castro
Kristy Lee Cook
Michael Johns
Ramiele Malubay
Syesha Mercado


E.K. Will too many Cooks spoil American Idol? What about too many Davids? What about David Cook? We shall see! Tune in next week when we find out who will make the Top 11! Not so fast, Syesha!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

A.I. TOP 16 

E.K.: All right, let's bring in E.K. Nation's Senior American Idol Correspondent Smooth to discuss the good, the bad and the ugly of last night's show.

Smooth: First off, not feeling your hatred of Alexandrea last week. I liked her personality and her vocal wasn't the grease fire you made it out to be. Also, you're still way too high on David Archuleta's vocal last week. Yes, it was good, but go watch a YouTube video of Melinda Doolittle doing "My Funny Valentine" or Kelly Clarkson's "Stuff Like That There", or even Jennifer Hudson's "Circle of Life" or *gasp* Justin Guarini's "Get Here". If we're just going on sheer vocal talent I don't think David's performance last week was elite. Why you gotta be so Xtreme??

E.K.: And a big Sunflower Hello to you too! Well, hey, I love controversy! As for Alexandrea, even she thought she sucked, so how am I supposed to like it? And as for Archuleta's take on "Imagine", I still say it was one of the best vocal performances I've ever seen on A.I., and a lot of people agree with me. And as you know, might makes right, so it's me and those who agree with me against you and you alone, because you didn't cite anyone who agreed with you. I win.

Smooth: Oh, for filth's sake.

E.K.: Okay, let's start talking about Tuesday night, and the disaster that is Luke Menard. I couldn't believe he chose to do "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go", which is almost a novelty song at this point in American society's chronology. I don't even think the girl voters who think he's dreamy will lift a finger to vote for that performance. He was off pitch again and the whole thing almost seemed like he was doing it as a joke.

Smooth: He's not getting better. I'm just not a fan of his voice, it is just too thin and slightly nasal. The falsetto notes are particularly painful. This song has almost no chance of coming off as not cheesy... and that chance goes down to nil when Luke is singing it. Simon, as always, put it succinctly: It was "girly". And no, he's not going to win, or even survive the week.

E.K.: Agreed: He will not make it to the Final 12 and the New Stage! Up next was David Archuleta and his rendition of "Another Day In Paradise".

Smooth: Ah, he's tickling the keys. That's a nice touch. He's got his "smoldering" look going on which is mildly humorous since he looks thirteen. He is missing some notes early. He's trying to play with the melody again and it's not working nearly as well as last week. Not bad, but expectations were high after last week.

E.K.: I thought this was pretty awkward, without even taking last week into account. First, it's kind of weird to see someone start a song on the keyboard and walk away from it to finish the song. Maybe he wanted to say, "Hey, I can play an instrument too!" but just enough so that he wasn't distracted from singing well. And it didn't work; you're right, he missed some notes. And David, why try to "bring attention to those around the world who have nothing" when Idol Gives Back is going to do just that in a few weeks? Concentrate on singing and going for that million-dollar record deal before trying to help society or something strange like that!

Smooth: No, Danny. Oh, no, no, no.

E.K.: Hmmm...I sense a scathing review of Danny Noriega.

Smooth: No doubt. The scarf, the hip shaking, the hair, the song choice, the stomping... yikes. Luke, I apologize for agreeing with the notion that you were "girly". Okay, this is a terrible performance. It's melodramatic, like he is chewing the scenery in an off-off-off-Broadway musical. The vocal is almost as bad as the performance: breathy, and he just wasn't focusing on singing because he was too busy strutting around like an idiot. If I was watching this for free on a cruise ship I'd walk out and grab a cheeseburger with no pickles. I had hope for him, but he is getting worse each week. Possibly the most cringe-worthy performance of the semifinals thus far, right up there with Amanda last week (or any time, really).

E.K.: Agreed. The arrangement of "Tainted Love" was horrid. And I have to call bullshit yet again on Danny's choice of song. He did a song from the 50s during 60s Week, and now he's doing a song from 1964 for 80s Week. Yes, I know the reason we all know the song is that Soft Cell did it in the 80s but still, this guy is bugging me with his, dare I say, illegal song choices. But he's also bugging me with just about everything he's doing anyway. The vocals, the dancing, just horrendous from start to finish. He's like a disobedient dog tracking in misery all over the A.I. carpet. And I just don't like his attitude much. I'm surprised they even bothered to interview Danny for the "Most Embarrassing Thing That's Ever Happened To Me" segments. This guy isn't embarrassed by anything as far as I can tell. Not even his obscene "Christmas greeting" video clip that's on YouTube. Also, Paula was drunk. Can we please get someone on this show who makes sense?

Smooth: Apparently David Hernandez used to strip in Phoenix. I remember seeing him dance to Prin... I mean, NOTHING!!

E.K.: Ah, busted! I saw you there, dude! I--Err, wait, I mean, what?

Smooth: This is not a good vocal by his standards. Sort of a weird song choice, I thought. He was flat on several notes. His performance style is still mostly limited to him getting a very intense look on his face. Overall, the song is a bit boring, which does not bode well in a dangerous week for him. He is, however, showing more personality, which is a positive.

E.K.: I watched this episode late last night, or way early this morning, I suppose, and might have been a little loopy, because I didn't recognize the song and also wrote in my notes that it sounded like he was singing in ESL. Is that kosher? (Upon further review, it was apparently "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" by Meatloaf. I knew there was a reason I didn't know what it was: I didn't know what it was!) It was very nasal and I thought he could have done better, and he certainly has before. He won't get voted out but he hasn't hit that Wow song that every winner needs.

Smooth: Michael Johns seems more focused this week. The movement on stage is similar each week; it reminds me of a combination of Michael Hutchence and Michael Stipe. He is the Michael of many Michaels. Much better vocal from him this week than last. Some missed notes still, and I think he is capable of better. Good energy on stage, and he kicked it up a notch in the second half of the song. He has charisma but I do think he needs to show off the vocals a bit more.

E.K.: I liked it a lot. The vocals were a bit shaky at first but he worked it out and did that showman thing he has that others are lacking this year. It was a good song choice; everyone was going to know and like "(Don't You) Forget About Me" -- or is it "Don't You (Forget About Me)"? -- and the showman in him was going to rock it out. Now let's go to David Cook and his rendition of "Hello".

Smooth: Yikes, the first phrase was rough, but it smoothed out from there. Wacky song choice, although I surprisingly don't hate the arrangement. Pretty good vocal; he's actually been pretty consistent as far as his vocals go. He's actually not grating on me nearly as much as he usually does. In fact, if this were the first time I'd seen him I think I'd like it even more. The judges agree with me on the good arrangement.

E.K.: This was by far David Cook's best performance. When Seacrest said David was going to say "Hello" I was hoping he wouldn't try to Lionel Richie us into the ground because that would have been boring. Fortunately, he brought the guitar out and gave it a new spin and it totally worked. The arrangement was great, and I think the song totally works as a rock ballad.

Smooth: Check this out: Jason Castro was TOTALLY baked in the pre-interview.

E.K.: Pass the Cheetos. And his "Most Embarrassing Moment" was one of his dreads coming out of his head during a date! Ewwww. Ooooh. You know that mouth-watery feeling you get right before you puke?

Smooth: I'm familiar with it. And uh-oh, he's doing "Hallelujah", which Jeff Buckley did to perfection back when he was not dead, so he's got a lot to live up to. He didn't do too badly, actually, and it fit his voice. He's not Buckley by any means, but I didn't think he would pull it off, and he's proving me wrong. Totally runs out of breath on the penultimate phrase and it sounds awful, but up until then I was pleasantly surprised. Randy and Simon concur on the Buckley issue, but they also like it.

E.K.: I really liked this one. His vocals are now at the forefront, and he has a great voice. He really could be a star if only he looked like he gave a crap about being on American Idol. He's so unaffected by anything they've got going on there in Hollywood, and maybe that's a positive, but if he wants to win, he might have to at least pretend to want this. I wonder how he's going to do when they start doing the Ford commercials in the Top 12. Last but not least, we have Chikezie, whose last name is still misplaced somewhere.

Smooth: Well, he's trying to play to his strengths by staying in the R&B genre. Once again, the song was gender-reversed which is distracting. I didn't like the choppy arrangement; I hate it when they have to skip around in the song to stay within the time limit. The vocal was pretty good if not outstanding. The last line sounded a little weird. Randy noticed this as well. I think last week he really owned the song, and this was just OK.

E.K.: I thought this was pretty good, but I'm not wowed by him. I didn't remember this song from the 80s so I wasn't distracted by the gender change. I just don't know what to think of this guy. Is he good enough to win? I don't think so. This week he performed rather well, but something tells me he is in Ruben Studdard's shadow -- aren't we all, really? -- by being a somewhat-big black R&B singer. So: Who's going to get booted, Smooth? I say Luke is gone for sure, and Danny is too. I would surely vote out those two if I had any say. And actually I guess I do, since I can vote, but what am I, an Idol geek or something?

Smooth: Of course not. How could we ever take this thing seriously? Errrr...ahem. I would vote out Luke and Danny as well, but I think Luke is gone and maybe David Hernandez will be too.

E.K.: I'm not sure the "scandal" of David H. being a stripper is important enough as to cause people to not vote for him. I think Danny has proven that he just sucks. I hope nobody's got a Vote For The Worst campaign on him. Or maybe I do. It would be so fascinatingly morbid watching him try to Sanjaya his way through this field. Which, come to think of it, may be the reason he won't get the boot. Anyway, we've got the girls tonight, and I can't wait to see what Brooke does.

Smooth: Awww, E.K.'s in love.

E.K.: Shut it.

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